I know that all the traumas and struggles I’ve experienced have offered me the opportunity to grow into the most beautiful version of myself.
It had been weeks since I’d been able to eat much and months since I’d had a full night’s sleep. Until this point, I’d been devoting all my energies to being perfect, to pleasing others, and to trying to attain some impossible standard that I’d set for myself. Moreover, chronic and debilitating heart trouble and painful endometriosis added ongoing struggle to my depression and anxiety. My unrealistic self-expectations and perfectionistic traits had been wreaking havoc on my body, mind, and spirit.
Being brought to my knees on 9/11 forced me to begin walking down the path of finding out who I really was. In the nearly 20 years since, I have explored many different healing modalities and have benefited greatly from these gifts, especially by delving into yoga and meditation. With these practices as my foundation and with the help of excellent teachers and of my own dogged determination, I have been able to identify and root out the causes of the self-flagellating behaviors that drove my body and mind into the ground. As a result, I have been able to heal from sexual abuse, from heartbreak over the molestation of my child, from a debilitating heart condition, and from a painful divorce.
Now, I can look back on my life’s challenges with gratitude. I have forgiven those who hurt me and my daughter and can hold them in my heart with compassion, knowing that forgiveness is a gift I have given myself. I know that all the traumas and struggles I’ve experienced have offered me the opportunity to grow into the most beautiful version of myself. Not only have my heartaches and challenges made me stronger but they have made me more loving. I KNOW with every part of me that I am not just a survivor but a thriver. I feel certain that you too are invited to allow your suffering to transform you into the most loving version of yourself. This transformation can be a hard journey, but as my life has amply shown me it is worth every faltering step.
On 9/11 as the World Trade Centers were crashing to the ground I suffered a full-on collapse.