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Jesus and the Prophet Mohammed Walk Into a Bar

Its November 2015, Jesus and The Prophet Mohammed walk into a bar. The two men sit quietly in each other’s presence for a moment, their deep respect for the other is palpable to any onlooker.  For, they know that they both tried very hard to teach the world to love others with a pure, non fearful heart.  But, no one is paying any attention to them.  Everyone is deep in conversation about the atrocities committed over the past days.  Jesus and Mohammed hear a mixed bag of comments, from “I think we should nuke the bastards” to “Let’s close the borders to Syrian refugees” to “I say we send in more drones and show them who’s Boss! Who cares if we kill more civilians… It’s collateral damage, man.  That’s a couple hundred less future terrorists to worry about.”  They both bow their heads in deep sadness, knowing that many heinous acts have been committed in their names.

Just then, they see Krishna and The Buddha leaning over a corner table looking bewildered and pained. Jesus and The Prophet invite these old friends to their table hoping that together they can find a way out of the state of hatred and fear that has overtaken the world. Before any of them speak, they hold hands, close their eyes and pray for the veils of ignorance to be lifted from this world. Jesus speaks first, “Where did we go wrong? We tried to teach them by using stories and parables in order for them to understand that LOVE is the most powerful force in the universe and that The Kingdom of God is within them… “ The others nod their heads knowing that most of their essential message was the same. The Prophet Mohammed added, “We tried to reveal to them the way to live a good, pure life and that by this they will be at One with God.” Again, the men nodded in agreement. To this the Buddha added, “They have left the Jewel of the Heart and plunged headlong into creating more and more suffering. They have learned nothing from our teachings.” “Except how to warp them to their own ends”, added The Prophet. And, Jesus vigorously exclaimed, “Word to That, Brother!” 

Just then, the men notice that the waitress has finally come. She was of a rather advanced age compared to the servers who normally worked here. The men could tell that she had been through a few hard knocks in her life. But, there was a powerful beauty to her presence. Her body was like Mother Earth herself. Overflowing with peaks and valleys. Filled with hot springs and cool streams. There was a, “Don’t mess with me!” air about her. Each man could tell that she held power. That she owned herself. That she answered to no one. That she knew herself deeply. Yet, when she spoke, her manner was soft and compassionate. As though she could both create and destroy in a moment. This combination of attributes was both confounding and alluring for them all. She seemed to balance great strength through life’s hard won trials, self-knowledge, softness, compassion and great love.


Suddenly, Krishna cried out, “Goddess, is that you? I didn’t recognize you!” At this, all of the other men breathed a great sigh of relief as they each knew that her great denigration over the years had thrown the planet completely off balance. Each one hoped that she would have some great feminine solution to the fear and hatred running rampant in so many human hearts. Jesus bid her to sit with them for a moment so he could ask her, “Where did we go wrong?” We left as clear a path to LOVE that we could. What did we forget to do? Or, were they even ready to know that we are really all ONE, that The Kingdom of God is within them?” As the Goddess lifted her skirt to sit and placed her high heels on the bar stool rung to join these beloved men she mused at how beautiful they all were. She saw how pure each of their heart’s was. How great was their desire to help people understand that they are all Divine. Before she spoke, they all held hands. Each one sending love from their heart out into the suffering of the heart of the world. The LOVE was so powerful that everyone in the bar stopped their bickering, their arguing, their “I am right and you are wronging…”. Each pair of eyes scanned the table that was emitting such powerful waves of love. As though in one instant, the whole room breathed in the awareness of who was before them. Tears began to rain down cheeks, people fell to their knees, hands were held at hearts in thanks and heads bowed in reverence to these beings who’s teachings they had grappled to understand and attempted to emulate. Most, however, weren’t really sure who the Woman was in their midst but then whispers began to speak her name as The Goddess, the feminine face of God. All gasped at their fortune to find Jesus, The Prophet Mohammed, The Buddha, Krishna and The Goddess hanging with them at their local bar. 

Suddenly, the lovefest was broken when someone yelled out, “Why don’t you save us from this mess we’re in?” Jesus answered, “We gave you all THE teachings many years ago. Now it is time for you to apply them. To really LIVE them. To BE them. We will not save you now. You do not need another Savior. You have everything you need to know in all of our teachings. Only you can save yourselves. It is time for you to be your own saviors. Look into your hearts. It is there, always there, that you will find us, that you will find the TRUTH…. and that truth is ALWAYS LOVE. There is no other way. There is no other teaching. There is nothing more that you need to know now. Follow the light in your heart. That light is LOVE. It is all that matters. It is where all things must begin and all things must end. Again I say, “You must save yourselves.”


At this, the room looked somewhat heartened while simultaneously unsure of how to look into their own hearts for the truth. After a moment, someone called out, “I get it. It’s like The Golden Rule, to only do onto others as we would have them do onto us?! Is this what you are saying by finding the TRUTH in our own hearts?” At this, The Goddess stood up. She had a gripping power radiating from her. All in attendance felt that she had lived through great suffering and come through the fire with great love and wisdom to share with the world. As she spoke, her knowing smile and her shining eyes penetrated every heart in that room. “This is what we told you because we didn’t think you were ready for the TRUTH. Unfortunately, we can see from your actions throughout thousands of years, that you really don’t love yourselves…. so how can you do anything different until you finally wake up and SEE. You do not know the Divine beings that you truly are. You are not apart from God. You are within God. So, to answer your question of whether it is The Golden Rule that you are to model your life on or not, I say to you, and I know I speak for all of these great men here before you, when you question whether or not you are to treat others as though you would like to be treated, KNOW THAT THERE ARE NO OTHERS…. I REPEAT, KNOW THAT THERE ARE NO OTHERS…”

For a great long moment, the room was completely silent. Then each person turned to the other and began to say, “I am me and I am you. I am you and you are me.” Everyone in that bar spent upward of an hour holding, sobbing, tenderly embracing the other and repeating these words to each other again and again. When they looked up and realized the night was getting on, they couldn’t see any of the great men amidst them… And, many people couldn’t find that older waitress to get their tab…

Outside the bar, there were five light-filled beings newly renewed with hope and enjoying a rousing round of high fives before falling into a fantastic, all-embracing group hug….

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